Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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