she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
