big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it's like iHOP with fire
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
