Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
