she woke up with a sticky ear
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
