a queef is a wish your heart makes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize