so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
