3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
