Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
