Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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