i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
