Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I cut my penus on the lid.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
