her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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