Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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