Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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