I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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