Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
