do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
