I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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