I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
