You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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