I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
