found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
