I'm eating all of the evidence.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
