I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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