Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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