the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
