she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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