problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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