the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
