if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
