i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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