make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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