I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
