Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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