I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
