He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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