How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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