i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
