I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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