Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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