so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
