It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
