I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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