You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
