I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize