I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize