Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
