Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize