I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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