the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
