dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
