recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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