its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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