as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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