I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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