My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
