planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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