Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
