Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ugly people sure do ruin things
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
