I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize