Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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