Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
