It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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