Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
