bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
