My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
