did you get engaged???
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
