Apparently you make a good broom.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
