I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
