Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
